After the ride he hopped out and said, "Very nice car!"
So far it has been a quiet week. Last week was so busy, it's nice to have a week with not much to do.
Mark did take Andrew with him to work yesterday. He had some errands to run and a little paint job at a friend's church. They sang Jingle Bells and had coffee. Now that's the way to spend a hot summer day in July!
For those of you who are adopting an older child, remember to set good boundaries and be consistent in everything. If you think something isn't right or they aren't speaking truth, God gives you that revelation. Be persistent with them. Don't give up! When you are dishonest, you are held captive to that sin. The Lord sets us free! Andrew is learning how to be set free. It's hard at first because he is in survival mode from the orphanage. But once truth is spoken, the attitude changes. Freedom!
Blessings,
Hansina
And so it is with all of us...a growing process, by Grace! I love it! I love the family pictures! I love the never ending smiles! I love God's redemption story we are witnessing! It doesn't get any better than this! Always in my prayers! Corey Bean
ReplyDeleteLOVE LOVE LOVE you new photo of the kids!!! Just beautiful! :)
ReplyDeleteI love how even the guys are putting their hands on the hips! ha ha! Did someone prompt them to do that? Seems that's the way to pose for pictures these days ;-)
ReplyDeleteHugs!
After 18 months, we are still dealing with dishonesty. It is a journey to undo many years of survival behavior.
ReplyDeleteDo you ever get concerned that Andrew will be attrached to the stuff in America instead of loving Jesus?
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like your family has a special annointing for caring and raising these cast aside ones. May He continue to give you grace and direction.
I actually haven't thought about it. I suppose it could happen to any of our children, but Mark and I are believing the way we are raising them for the Kingdom that won't happen.
DeleteJust to be sure we are talking about the same "Kingdom".... i hope you don't mind me asking, i ask out of sincere concern..... do you believe that people will hate us for Jesus sake? that we will suffer and be persecuted in this world? that we should joyfully accept the confiscation of our property? or do you believe in wealth, health and prosperity?
DeleteI do believe people suffer for Jesus' sake. I also believe and know that my God owns a cattle on a thousand hills and does give us health, wealth and prosperity. These things you mention above can and do happen to Christians. "Joyfully accept the confiscation of our property" I'm not sure I would be "joyful" about that, but I would continue to give my God praise no matter what the circumstance. I want our children to have a foundation that doesn't waiver no matter what comes their way. And that's building it on the rock of Christ!
Delete"Not speaking truth" does that mean that Andrew has a problem with lying? Is this one of the challenges that you face and when you mentioned how it was hard teaching him "good habits?" Is he having difficulties? You are in my daily prayers.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your prayers. Yes! There is a spirit of the orphan that is a survival mode. You lie, cheat, steal, disobey, push your way through in order to survive. Is he learning? Absolutely! Will these behaviors continue to come up? I wouldn't be surprised. We will continue to hold fast with zero tolerance. By the grace of God and His love and mercy for us, we will show Andrew the same love! I could write a whole post on this, but I will save it for another time.
DeleteHansina,
ReplyDeleteI've been following along and praying for your family. It's so good to see Andrew in his new home with his family. He looks like he's exactly where he's suppose to be. Also wanted to say that LOVE the new family picture!!! It's beautiful!!!
Blessings,
Rebecca
Hansina,
ReplyDeletedo you mind me asking how you hold fast with zero tolerance as regards survival mode behaviour? Have you discussed the consequences of such behaviour with Andrew and then follow through when these occur? I imagine that communication is key?! What kind of consequences are there to apply for a sixteen year old boy who still needs to learn to be loved? Thanks!
I admire your love for your son and pray for strength, honesty and love for your family.
Kind regards
Beate
We have an above ground pool. For safety reasons, we have told the kids no jumping from the side of the pool. The pool is very shallow. We told Andrew this after he jumped one time. He said okay that he understood no jumping from the side of the pool. The next time he did it, he had to come out and there was no more swimming for him the rest of the day. He doesn't do it any more.
DeleteHe did steal something the second week he was here. He lied about it for 30 minutes. We stayed in his room with him quietly until he confessed. (We already knew the truth. Just wanted to encourage him to speak it.) Then we took him to the place where he stole the item. He gave it back to the police officer that was there and told him what he had done. The officer let him know if you steal you go to jail. We told Andrew how much we love him and we were glad he gave it back.
It's a learning time. He is not in an orphanage anymore. He is not an orphan so he doesn't need to lie, steal, cheat. It takes time on his part and ours. Patience is key for Mark and I and consistency. When he does something he shouldn't, he needs to be corrected right away so he understands. He is getting it! I am very surprised how quickly he is learning. All of the behaviors he came with are diminishing. He's doing amazingly well.
Thank you for your questions! Hope I answered them all!
Hansina,
Deletethank you very much for your open and detailed answer. It really helps me to understand how to approach such issues with love and consistency. I praise the Lord that Andrew came home to his loving family and that he has experienced parents who help him adjust! The adjustment can't be easy for him. I am amazed how well he is doing and I am glad that he has such patient and considerate parents!
Love, Beate
Thank you Beate! I'm so glad you are following Andrew's journey! Love and blessings to you!
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